♥️One Life
harmonious integration of people and things that matter
The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge nor knowledge without love can produce a good life.
― Bertrand Russell
My Story
I was fortunate to discover my interest and passion in automotive and electronics at a very young age. Growing up, I did not get much chance to tinker with cars because I lived in an apartment in China and it does not come with a garage. Nevertheless, my family was supportive and encouraged me to buy books and subscribe to magazines that satisfied my curiosity in these fields. I also took pleasure in attending auto shows and visiting dealerships to explore newly released cars, even though I was well aware that I couldn't afford them or even drive them at that time.
Thanks to the knowledge I acquired from books and personal interactions with a wide variety of cars, I managed to develop a relatively comprehensive understanding of the automotive industry. This understanding spanned from vehicle design and integrated electronics to the intricacies of business operations and logistics. Little did I know at the time that this diverse knowledge would eventually prove to be highly relevant to my current profession.
I was additionally fortunate to have the opportunity to travel to Japan during my undergraduate years for an internship at Autoliv, one of the world's largest automotive suppliers. During my time there, I had the privilege of working within the electronics division, now known as Veoneer. My focus involved contributing to the development and validation of Radar and Camera sensors for Advanced Driver Assistance Systems (ADAS), specifically catering to Japanese automakers.
Upon returning from Japan in 2017, I participated in an open house event organized by General Motors on the UBC campus. It was during this event that I became aware of GM's ambitious plan to expand its engineering team by around 1000 professionals and establish a brand new software center in Markham, Ontario. The event left me convinced that I would soon be counted among those 1000 engineers. Following the event, immediately after completing my final exams in April, I hopped on a flight to Toronto for my inaugural visit to the city. Renting a car, I made my way to GM's new Markham campus. The site was still under construction, and I was not even couragous enough to get off my car and walk around the building. However, I held onto the certainty that I would return someday.
What ensued was a journey of 6 to 7 attempts. Each time a new internship posting from GM surfaced, I promptly submitted my application. Unfortunately, all of these endeavors culminated in either rejections or a lack of response. Even when GM returned to UBC once more, I seized the opportunity to submit my resume to the campus recruiter, only to find myself still devoid of any communication or updates. At the time I thought I had relevant experience working in Japan on the exact same domain, i.e. ADAS, my experience does not seem to make me stand out, especially when hearing GM prefers candidates who had work experience in Canada and participated in a student design team.
To afford myself additional preparation time, I opted to pursue a course-based master's program at UBC ECE. This decision not only provided me with the chance to cultivate deeper connections with both faculty and campus communities, but also enabled me to gain invaluable experience through involvement in student design teams. Moreover, this endeavor granted me the opportunity to acquire Canadian work experience.
Although I have let go of my expectations of hearing back from GM, I submitted an applicaiton to their new grad role on a thanksgiving day in 2019. Surprisingly they called me back and invited me to a series of interviews. I underwent back-to-back interviews for two positions and secured a position at my once-dream company in the early months of 2020. Embarking on the journey to realize my dream was undeniably a fun adventure, and I am forever appreciative of all those who provided unwavering support throughout this journey.
The Revelation
Here I am, enjoying every day at work, and recently I celebrated my three-year anniversary. One remarkable aspect of working in an industry I'm passionate about is that I don't need to rigidly separate my professional and personal life. I'm more than happy to invest additional time after work delving into the latest automotive news, and associate it to my current projects at work.
However, in the past three years I also come across some unexpected experiences that inspired me to reflect on how I should lead my life:
As time progresses, particularly when deadlines loom, stress do creep in. There have been instances when I've needed to take a day off from work to prevent burnout and ensure my well-being. Even doing the work I enjoy, there were times that I found myself trading off too much of my personal time for work. What is the right formula or ratio that I should apply to balance work and life?
While I'm at ease being my authentic self both within and outside of work, I've noticed that sometimes I or some other individuals have to display different personas to handle certain situations. Additionally, I've received feedback emphasizing the importance of maintaining a consistent level of professionalism in all interactions with colleagues and customers. (I'm not implying any misbehavior; there are behaviors that might be appropriate among friends but might not align with a professional setting) How can I smoothly shift between work mode and "personal" mode? Should I maintain two distinct personas?
I did not expect how fast time flies by, and I cannot go back to the school days where I would have the luxury of taking more than a month off to travel around the world or doing side projects. How should I find time for them?
The revelation came to me while I was watching the documentary of Boeing 777 learning about how Boeing was managing such a massive and successful project. The Working Together Management System along with the individuals driving it, particularly Alan Mulally, the director of engineering, captivated my attention. Alan is an exceptionally brilliant leader, possessing not only visionary qualities but also a remarkable sense of humility and approachability. Beyond his leadership of the Boeing 777 program, Alan's tenure at Ford as CEO in 2006 stands as a testament to his capabilities; he orchestrated the company's revival without resorting to government loans during the automotive industry crisis in 2008. Moreover, Alan maintains a fulfilling family life, having been married for over five decades and raising five children.
Alan uses a Venn diagram to explain that his day's events, be it work, family or spiritual, are not mutually exclusive (source). I find this diagram refreshingly simple yet impactful. Traditionally, like many others, I used to consider work life and personal life as distinct domains. However, upon reflection, it becomes evident that attempting to rigidly allocate time and energy to balance both sides can be nearly impossible. Furthermore, I still derive enjoyment from discussing industry news and sharing my insights about technological trends with friends (ensuring I avoid disclosing any confidential information from my employer, of course). Within a second seeing this diagram, I felt an immediate resonance with its message, firmly believing that it represents the kind of life I would wholeheartedly enjoy leading.
Here are some sources that I highly recommend to check out:
The Design of my Integrated Life
By looking at the Venn diagram, clearly there is an overlap between all aspects of life. I questioned myself:
What do the overlap and the non-overlap parts represent?
What is the next step once we come up with our design of integrated life?
How do we apply what we learn from one aspct of life to another?
My answers come in 4 parts:
The One Life Stack - a design inspired by software architecture and the Agile Onion
Time Management - making time for people and things that matter and visualize them
Feedback and Feed-foward Process - the fabric to connect the dots
Support - guidance from others; high-quality resources & opportunities; models, frameworks, and processes
The One Life Stack
Inspiration from Software Stack
A software project is often organized into a "stack" - a collection of components and technologies working together to provide a platform or framework for developing and running applications. These components are typically organized in a specific order or hierarchy, with each layer building upon the one below it.
As depicted in the picture below, the uppermost tier of a software stack is the application layer, constructed atop a foundation of numerous shared middleware and libraries. These, in turn, operate within the context of an operating environment, encompassing the operating system (OS) and drivers. Naturally, in the context of an embedded system, all of these components depend on the underlying hardware to function effectively.
While the applications themselves may differ in their specific functions and purposes, it becomes evident that they share a common foundation of underlying libraries. Moreover, they operate within the confines of a unified operating system and rely upon the same hardware infrastructure.
Inspiration from the Agile Onion
In the same software engineering space, another concept is called the Agile Onion. It the uses the metaphor of a layerd onion to visualize the different layers involved in product and software development. The model tells us that the outmost layer "Mindset" is the most powerful of the layers that make up Agile. It is where ‘being agile’ comes from, rather than ‘doing agile’, which is the domain of the inner rings of the onion [Source].
The Agile mindset are essentially a list of beliefs that drives the way we think about how work gets done. These beliefs are centered around complexity, people, and proactivity, acting as the foundation of deriving all the agile values, principles, practices, and tools, in the agile onion. The outer layers of this metaphorical onion are less tangible, visible, and easy to teach, and they change less often. Nevertheless, they represent the most essential components that demand continuous challenge, unlearning, and a willingness to break free from the status quo. Embracing the Agile mindset necessitates a transformative shift for organizations, leadership teams, and individuals alike.
It is interesting to note that it may seem counterintuitive that the most visible piece, Tools & Processes stays at the innermost part of the onion while the most fundamental piece, Midset sits outside. The fact is that:
"The onion is deliberately this way around as it’s a Venn diagram where each circle sits inside one outside. The surface area of the circle is how important the element is.
...
Putting the tools and processes on the outside often gives the wrong perception that we start with processes and not people. Individual and Interactions over processes and tools means people over process. Starting with tools and processes and hoping people get the mindset is the opposite."
In my own opinion, the practices, tools & processes are the “术”, and the values, mindsets and principles are “道” or Tao. Here are some of the quotes from classical chinese literature:
以道驭术，术必成。离道之术，术必衰。― 庄子
有道无术，术尚可求也。有术无道，止于术。― 老子
形而上者谓之道，形而下者谓之器。― 易经·系辞
Answer to the first question: What do the overlap and the non-overlap parts represent?
The overlapping part of the integrated life are the values, mindsets, and principles (a.k.a, 道) as they are so elegant and powerful and can be fundamentally and universally shared and reused in all kinds of context. Applying them to all aspects of life (some may not overlap) also enforces consistency and authenticity when I am doing who I am.
My One Life Stack Design
Combining the concept of software stack and the Agile Onion, here is the design of my One Life Stack. It is organized is a way that the colored background demonstrates the relationship between the most intangible elements such as values and principles and how they are applied to four aspects of my life through customized, context-aware practices.
To illustrate this better, I use the table below to explain each element of the stack:
Hardware
Physical and Mental Health
A state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease and infirmity". [Source]
Operating System
Manages computer hardware and software resources, and provides common services for computer programs. [Source]
Core Values
Enduring beliefs of what is most important to someone. Values transcend specific actions and situations and provide us stability and guidance as we encounter obstacles, distractions, opportunities, ambiguity, ambivalence, conflict, and temptations throughout our lives. [Source]
Middleware and Libraries
Provide common services and capabilities to applications and help developers and operators build and deploy applications more efficiently. Middleware acts like the connective tissue between applications, data, and users. [Source]
Principles
Principles are universal truths based on natural laws. While values govern behaviors, principles govern the consequences of those behaviors. While values may vary from person to person, principles will always remain constant in the universe. In other words, even though values may differ, they are governed by the same principles.[Source]
Applications
An application program (software application, or application, or app for short) is a computer program designed to carry out a specific task other than one relating to the operation of the computer itself, typically to be used by end-users. [Source]
Practices: Integrated Life Components
Practices are applications of principles principles stated in a context-dependent way. In my case, I categorize my life in four contexts: work life, community life, student life, and family & personal life.
Time Management
In order to put the one life stack into action, we need to take time to reflect on who we want to become (Aspiration), what we want to achive (Ambition), specific things we are doing right now (Action).
Have clear goals for yourself every day, every year, and every decade.
I am not going to dive into my aspiration or ambition, because you might be able to find some clues from my other articles. What I find helpful, however, is to pay careful attention to what we can do right now, or at least what we can do in the following week, knowing time is our most valuable asset 😊.
Each to their own, there are many techniques of managing time, and I personally prefer to use a calendar to plan out my tasks the same way I would do at work, for several reasons:
The entire calendar serves as a to-do list
Each calendar entry comes with very specific objectives, with a specific deadline
When we decide to add/replace/remove an item into the calendar, we will ask ourselves these questions based on our values and principles
Is it worth it?
Is it important for me to (de)prioritize this work?
Does the work I plan to do align with my ambition and aspiration?
Have I allocated time for all aspects of my life: work, personal, student, and community?
With the following questions in mind, here is an example of my weekly calendar:
In one of his interviews, Alan Mulally did a great job summarizing his way of making his calendar.
Everybody always talks about how you need to manage your time. You need to manage your energy as well. You first have to ask, “What gives me energy?” There can be lots of sources: your family, exercise, your spiritual well-being. Try to combine those, along with your work demands, into one integrated calendar so that everything is built into your lifestyle. You can get beyond having to tell yourself, “OK, I’m going to have my family life next year in August, on vacation.” Instead, jot down what is really important to you, see if you have allocated time for it, and adjust the calendar if necessary.
― Alan Mulally
Answer to the second question: What is the next step once we come up with our design of integrated life?
(Continiously discovering your aspiration) Set goals, and plan out what to do the following week to make sure the activities are aligned with these goals.
Feedback & Feed-forward Process
No one is perfect. I realized this even more when I started working full-time and through interactions with people from different backgrounds or with very different perspectives. However, keep in mind that one of the core values in my One Life stack is "Continuous Improvement". The more we have the courage to "unlearn" and be open to learn, the more possible we can stretch ourselves to be a better person, little by little.
The renowned book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck introduced the fundamental concepts of two distinct mindsets: the "Fixed Mindset" and the "Growth Mindset." James Anderson further expanded upon Dweck's ideas by introducing a nuanced spectrum that delineates various levels of growth potential. This spectrum ranges from individuals with a firmly entrenched Fixed Mindset to those with a blend of fixed and growth-oriented thinking, ultimately leading to those with a robust inclination toward a Growth Mindset. Naturally, the aspiration is to cultivate the "High Growth" end of this spectrum, where one embraces the belief that abilities and intelligence can be continually developed through dedication and learning.
Over the years, I have been fortunate to have mentors and friends who have been candid and forthright in providing feedback on both my accomplishments and areas for improvement. I recall a significant juncture when I hosted a crucial meeting at GM. Following the meeting, my manager promptly reached out to discuss its outcome, candidly acknowledging that it had not gone as well as anticipated. Subsequently, we engaged in a productive session during which my manager meticulously reviewed the presentation slides and offered valuable insights on how I could refine the content to enhance its reception among the audience.
Throughout my journey in mentorship and leadership, I also learned my lesson: individuals are inherently unique. Rather than presuming that others should replicate my approaches precisely, I've come to recognize the importance of discerning their individual strengths, interests, and aspirations and align these with the organization they are serving. In essence, I have been trying to shift my mindset from a focus on compelling others to conform to my expectations, driven by personal pride, to one where I am dedicated to empowering individuals to unleash their full potential and become the best versions of themselves.
Throughout my life, numerous incidents and stories have compelled me to engage in continuous reflection regarding the outcomes, both positive and negative, stemming from my decisions and actions. These experiences naturally transform into valuable lessons, serving as feedback mechanisms that contribute to the formation and refinement of my core principles and values. In addition to incident-based reflection, it's also important to make time every week (Sunday evening for example) to ask myself if I did my best to:
Set clear goals for all four aspects of my life and make sure they align with my long-term aspiration?
Make time and progress toward achieving these goals?
Make meaningful contribution and creating positive impact to the community?
Maintain and build positive relationships?
Following thoughtful reflection and the fine-tuning of our principles, a fresh day, a new week, and an improved self have arrived! Now is the moment to put these newfound insights and ideas into practice, enriching our lives anew.
Answer to the third question: How do we apply what we learn from one aspct of life to another?
Followup, Feedback, Review, Reflection, Feed forward.
Support
I always find the motto of my junior high school profound. This motto emphasizes a positive life attitude and the pursuit of excellence.
读好书 (Read good books): This part emphasizes the importance of knowledge and learning. By reading good books, people can acquire new knowledge, wisdom, and insights. It encourages continuous learning, improving one's thinking abilities, and better understanding the world for personal growth.
交好友 (Make good friends): This part highlights the value of interpersonal relationships. Building genuine and supportive friendships contributes to emotional fulfillment and mental well-being. Making good friends also provides opportunities for cooperation and mutual support in facing life's challenges.
行远路 (Travel far roads): This part encourages adventure and exploration. It goes beyond geographical travel and includes bravely trying new things in life, stepping out of one's comfort zone, and pursuing growth and development. Traveling far roads represents a spirit of courage and adventure.
做大事 (Do great things): The final part is about pursuing excellence and success. It encourages people to strive for great achievements, whether in their careers, academics, entrepreneurship, or social endeavours. Doing great deeds represents the pursuit of goals, fulfilling one's potential, and making a positive impact on society and oneself.
The last essential element within my One Life Stack is the support system, a vital underpinning for the entire structure. If we liken values to a "compass," symbolizing the core beliefs and ethical bearings that steer our decisions, and principles to a "roadmap," charting the course to our goals while keeping us aligned with these values, then the support system can be thought of as the "life-giving water" or the "catalyst." Just as water sustains life and facilitates change, the support system continuously provides energy and nurtures a fulfilling life. Inspired by the motto mentioned above, I've categorized this support system into three key pillars:
Guidance from others
High-quality resources and opportunities
Models, frameworks, and processes
三人行，必有我师焉；择其善者而从之，其不善者而改之。
― 孔子
I've come to appreciate the profound impact that the choice of our reference groups can have on shaping our attitudes, opinions, and behaviors. These groups serve as essential points of comparison and wield influence over social norms and our expectations of ourselves. Thus, it's crucial to exercise caution when selecting the people with whom we spend our time and those we look up to. Once we establish meaningful connections with these individuals, their influence and inspiration can serve as powerful motivators for personal growth. These influential figures may come from various backgrounds and time periods, including those in our immediate social circles, distant mentors or role models, and even historical giants. When we receive guidance from these individuals, it is crucial to foster a positive, enduring, and meaningful relationship with them. This entails maintaining regular follow-ups to seek their valuable feedback. Additionally, demonstrating profound appreciation for their guidance is essential by consistently striving to excel in our endeavours. Moreover, we can pay this wisdom forward by assisting and mentoring the next generation, ensuring that the cycle of knowledge and support continues.
Ultimately it comes down to taste.
Much like how each of us cultivates preferences in books, music, art, and cuisine, our sense of taste inevitably extends to the sources from which we seek knowledge, the company we keep, the projects we engage in, and the opportunities we seek or create. Good or bad taste is not innate; instead, it evolves through education and exposure to a diverse array of opportunities and experiences. As we refine our ability to discern high-quality resources and opportunities, dedicating our time and energy to fully immerse ourselves in these experiences, we find ourselves becoming more grounded and fulfilled on our journey. To develop a good taste in identifying high-quality resources and opportunities, here are some tips that I learnt and distilled from this article:
Seek out others with good taste. Just as we may have friends who you know are well-read about music, wine, or food (you know these people because we are always asking them for recommendations), there are people who demonstrate good taste when they are making pivoting decisions. Once we identified these individuals, we need to do our due diligence to establishing connections, engaging in meaningful dialogue, and collaborating with these individuals. Becoming an apprentice under their guidance and seeking recommendations for websites, books, journals, or podcasts that inspire them can be immensely valuable. Additionally, we can inquire about opportunities they are aware of where we can make a meaningful and impactful contribution.
Exposing ourselves to the latest trend-setting books and articles, and developing opinions about the topics we are interested in (positive or negative). It’s typically not necessary to read the entire books or article to get a feel for what’s going on in an area; simply looking at the names of sessions and groupings of these literatures can help us quickly identify areas that are receiving a fair amount of attention from the community.
Sample and experiment with abandon. Cultivating refined taste in any genre hinges on the process of immersing oneself in a multitude of diverse examples, both exceptional and mediocre. Much like savoring a truly exceptional wine, dish, or performance becomes more gratifying when contrasted with lackluster counterparts, every encounter empowers us to more precisely articulate our preferences and dislikes. Consequently, it becomes imperative to explore a vast spectrum of articles, books, events, community gatherings, and opportunities. Inevitably, some subjects, domains, and individuals may strike us as mundane, but these seemingly uninspiring encounters serve as invaluable touch points for identifying and honing our discerning tastes.
Keep a list of ideas that we like and exchange them with a small, trusted group of people. We have touched on the importance of the "feedback and feedforward mechanism", it is a valuable experience to share what we have been learning and engage meaningful conversations and seek for new perspectives from other like-minded people. It also keeps us accountable and ensures that we are always “on the lookout” for new gems with a healthy appetite for new, creative ideas.
格物、致知、诚意、正心、修身、齐家、治国、平天下。
Leading a life is a design job, an opportunity for us to create something out of nothing. The creative process begins with the understanding of ourselves as well as the world around us. Mental models are invaluable cognitive tools—streamlined depictions, conceptual constructs, and structured frameworks that empower us to swiftly grasp our inner workings and the intricacies of our surroundings. They serve as the foundation upon which we navigate the complexities of our world. Yet, the majority of individuals employ these mental models without conscious awareness, relying upon a fixed set of them across various situations. [Source].
Charlie Munger contends that the deliberate cultivation and application of a Latticework of Mental Models will empower us to approach each problem from diverse perspectives and explore a multitude of potential solutions. It's akin to the distinction between resolving issues using a solitary hammer and addressing them with a versatile and extensive cognitive toolkit at our disposal.
What is elementary, worldly wisdom? Well, the first rule is that you can’t really know anything if you just remember isolated facts and try and bang ‘em back. If the facts don’t hang together on a latticework of theory, you don’t have them in a usable form. You’ve got to have models in your head. And you’ve got to array your experience both vicarious and direct on this latticework of models. You may have noticed students who just try to remember and pound back what is remembered. Well, they fail in school and in life. You’ve got to hang experience on a latticework of models in your head.
...I think the best question is, “Is there anything I can do to make my whole life and my whole mental process work better?” And I would say that developing the habit of mastering the multiple models which underlie reality is the best thing you can do...It’s just so much fun – and it works so well.
― Charlie Munger
As a very simple example, the design of the One Life Stack is derived from inspiration drawn from the realms of software engineering and project management. There are inifinite amount of models, frameworks, or processes in the world across many different disciplines that we can learn and apply to our day-to-day decision making as well as the comprehensive design of our life. The key is to explore, adapt, and integrate these models and frameworks into our life as needed. Different situations may call for different approaches, and continuous learning and adaptation are crucial for making informed decisions and designing a fulfilling life.
While it's true that some may suggest we ultimately face our struggles in isolation, upon deeper reflection, I've come to understand that we have the invaluable opportunity to draw from the wisdom of those who came before us. By embracing and applying their insights, we can confidently navigate the complexities of life and effectively respond to its inevitable changes. Furthermore, we possess the remarkable ability to foster connections and nurture the relationships within our communities, thus creating and sustaining an environment characterized by harmony, compassion, and mutual support. In such a nurturing community, individuals willingly assist one another in their journeys towards self-improvement, fostering a collective commitment to becoming better versions of ourselves.
Gift for my 30-year-old Self
吾十有五而志于学，三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳顺，七十而从心所欲不踰矩。
― 孔子
When looking back, 2015 was a productive and transformative year for me. That year, I came across Zen at UBC, a small community that organizes meditation practice; I started my summer Co-op job search and did not succeed; I participated in several volunteering activities to help kids at elementary learn about construction structures and to show exchange students around Vancouver; I reconnected with my junior high school friends during the summer; I started doing on-campus job to inspect AV equipment in classrooms every day before class starts; I started doing daily exercise to keep fit; I landed a Co-op job in Japan.
All these meaningful experiences listed above, at the age of 20, planted the seeds of love and passion, inspiring me to find a deeper meaning of life. I was able to let go of lots of setbacks from the past year, embracing new experiences and people. I felt the satisfaction of meaningful contributions through community services. It was a year I started feeling more grounded and having a vibrant and long-lasting feeling of fulfillment in life, even there were failures or challenges. In the following years, I strived to enjoy what life has to offer as well as sharing what I learned to help others.
Today, 8 years later, 2 years away towards the end of the most defining decade of life [Source], I took a pause during the summer to refelct on how things are going so far, and came up with this draft version of my One Life Framework. This framework serves as a comprehensive extension of the Core Values I distilled in 2019. While these values have remained unchanged, I have delved deeper into my experiences, both those that bore fruit and those that did not, resulting in the formulation of a set of guiding principles and their integration into my life activities. These are designed to impart greater clarity and guidance on aligning my actions and behaviours with these enduring values.
As Confucius said 三十而立 (by the age of thirty, a person should have developed a sense of maturity, wisdom, and independent thinking), I devote this work to my 30-year-old self in 2025, as a simple reminder to lead a fulfilled and harmonious life with people and things that matter. Of course, life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes - you can expect updates in this whole journal, from time to time. I am also open to have meaningful conversation with you, the reader of this journal.
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